Avalanche Season…
Eight weeks in. Two months. Over 15% of the year complete.
Here’s what I’m learning:
It’s not the work conference that gets you. It’s not the travel. It’s not Nashville, neon lights, or buffet tables.
It’s Wednesday Night, sitting in my office at 7:37 PM after a conflict-filled day; I’ve been here since 4:58 AM when I hit a lower body lift and I should be home with my wife and kids after this Board of Education meeting… instead, I’m reminding myself I need to check in to the band concert in the gym on my way out, swing by the grade school to drop something off to be signed, fill up my wife’s gas tank in this brutally frigid night… then I’ll cross the threshold into the house. As leaders, we all have these days, and while all of our jobs may look different, whether we are leading a high-functioning school district, teaching and coaching into the wee hours of the evening, or chasing a project presentation that must land perfects, it feels like it requires this type of effort, daily…
It’s walking back into the office after being gone to a conference that was fulfilling and a great re-charge, but now… feeling buried… chasing my tail trying to catch up to the scores of email, the appointments, those requesting meetings, addressing fires from my absence in the office…
It’s the Board packet. The staffing issue. The parent email. The tone shift in a tense meeting. The upcoming community forum. The weekend commitment to support another leader. The travel basketball tryout. The calendar being full on a weekend, let’s not even look at the workdays…
That’s when the avalanche starts.
Not with catastrophe, but with convenience and my own poor choices that are at my fingertips… the low-hanging fruit.
Low-Hanging Fruit
I skipped meal prep because “I didn’t have time or the groceries to do it.”
I grab something quick because “I’m behind and on the go.”
I walk past the basket of Board of Education’s famous cookies, before the meeting, and tell myself, I just knocked out a 4 mile treadmill run between after school meetings and before this meeting, quick shower, nobody here yet for the meeting, “…why not, I’ve earned one.”
These aren’t mini chocolate chip cookies, they are round disc golf sized slices of heaven… Then two, grab a couple for my kids to bring home, but forget… “oh crap, my daughter is at a friend’s house and watching their kids this week, she won’t be home, I’ll could eat hers too...”
Then three, maybe four over the course of 24 hours. Not because I’m hungry. Because I’m busy, mind consumed with ideas, projects, strategies, contingency plans, long range visions, lots of stress. The irony of being the founder of Stressed Leaders… I like stress… always have, maybe always will. I enjoy managing multiple projects, initiatives, goals, dreams, always have risen to the occasion too… But, stress makes you negotiate your standards.
The Leadership Mirror
When I was a varsity softball coach I used to share quotes, quips, and famous speeches of great leaders with my players, probably too much; they mocked my Colin Powell anecdotes repeatedly, but I consumed leadership books like my wife’s romance novels on her kindle. I often cited famous military minds, like Patton, Alexander the Great, or stoics like Marcus Aurelius, but recently a Colin Powell quote came to my head as I was teetering on victim status wondering, “Why can’t anyone solve their own crisis here…?”:
“The day the soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them.”
When people bring you problems, it means they trust you. But here’s what I’m confronting: When they bring me problems… I sometimes eat them.
Conflict becomes cookies. Overwhelm becomes convenience. Pressure becomes poor choices.
Victim mode is subtle. “Why does this always land on me?” “No one else sees what I’m carrying.” “I deserve this.”
Ironically, when I’m bored on a treadmill I consume YouTube motivational mashup videos from Motiversity or Ardus. I run while speakers, lifters, runners, are screaming at me for even contemplating thinking like a victim and I never allow myself to lower the bar when doing this, but outside of the weight room or the fitness center, I’ll find myself negotiating that standard at times of stress or weakness, or even unconscious decision-making, especially with nutrition. For the week I was pretty locked in on the diet, except these damn famous cookies.
Stress. Conflict. Busyness. I built this life, no point in even contemplating victimhood.
Superintendent. Speaker. Writer. Dad. Husband. Recovering Head Coach. Kids Athletics chauffeur. Side project builder. Guy who pours into others daily…
It’s not a full plate. It’s a Golden Corral buffet stacked so high it needs structural reinforcement. It’s chocolate fountain meets prime rib slicing station, with a side of chicken wings, shrimp scampi, mashed potatoes, and a 1/2 rack of ribs all at once.
Avalanche Math
… Miss the protein meal prep.
… Grab some processed sugary junk.
… Overindulge that sweet chocolate chip morsel.
… Feel sluggish. Let guilt take over.
… Push off lift to later. Negotiate my standard of execution.
… Short temper. Road Rage, snap on the kid for his unique sense of humor.
… Poor sleep. Sore feet, lower back barking, probably not hydrated enough.
… Lower standard. What are you doing?
One snowflake becomes a slide, builds into the avalanche. The same way culture erodes in a district. Not from one crisis. From small standards lowered repeatedly, death by a thousand tiny slices that eventually become a wound.
Week 8’s Reality
This week wasn’t heroic. It was honest. I felt the slide starting on Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday, back from the conference were great, epics lifts, nutrition dialed in, locked in, even with post-conference work demands. But Wednesday’s 14 hour work day challenged the standard.
The tone getting sharper. The food getting sloppier. The discipline getting negotiable.
It happened on a Wednesday afternoon, but by Friday afternoon, I caught the slide and corrected my steps. I passed on the night that would no doubt lower my standard to poor choices on Friday evening, instead staying home and then getting some extra work in the gym and weight room with my son.
That’s growth. Not perfection. Awareness.
Built Under Pressure isn’t about abs, though we are chasing the transformation of belly beer keg, to now pony keg, to someday a 6-pack. It’s about identity under stress.
When pressure rises, the standard doesn’t. Not in leadership. Not in fatherhood. Not in fitness. If they’re bringing you problems, it means you matter. Don’t respond by numbing yourself or complaining about how busy you are. Respond by tightening your discipline.
For me, that discipline really is simple, but it’s a matter of execution:
Prep the food. Lift the weight. Run the miles. Be the example for the little ones. Fix the tone. Control the outburst. Lead the meeting. Stop the avalanche at the first snowflake. That one cookie is the snowflake… But, it’s just one cookie… that cookie becomes the avalanche in my world, that one single decision leads down the rabbit hole of tens of decisions. That’s what my Built Under Pressure is all about. It’s the unconscious low-hanging fruit that I unconsciously grab and devour, but then allow it to control future decisions while I justify or negotiate the poor choices.
But, … it was just one cookie…
it was just… reminds me of…
Week 8: Scoreboard…
I had a rough 24-36 hours there with them cookies, but bounced back and conquered the weekend and overall a solid week, losing 0.8 pounds to build up to down over 15!
Weekly Weight Loss:
Week 1: -10.0 lbs (261.8 to 251.8)
Week 2: +3.0 lbs (-7.0 overall) (251.8 to 254.8)
Week 3: -4.2 lbs (-11.2 overall) (254.8 to 250.6)
Week 4: -0.4 lbs (-11.6 overall) (250.6 to 250.2)
Week 5: -1.2 lbs (-12.8 overall) (250.2 to 249.0)
Week 6: -1.8 lbs (-14.6 overall) (249.0 to 247.2)
Week 7: -0.2 lbs (-14.8 overall) (247.2 to 247.0)
Week 8: -0.8 lbs (-15.6 overall) 247.0 to 246.2)
Low hanging fruit , them cookies got me.
Pressure didn’t beat me. But it tried. And that’s the work.
I'm wondering if any of your other readers see the humor in your posts? There are always parts that make me giggle and other parts that make me think. I appreciate that from your writing.