It’s Monday.
Somewhere this morning a school leader is already staring at a calendar that somehow became full before 7:30 a.m. Someone is wondering if they’re making enough progress in the gym. Someone else is trying to become a better husband, father, wife, mother, friend, or leader while quietly wondering if they’re falling behind in all of them.
Welcome to the second half of the year. This is where momentum either compounds…or quietly disappears.
This weekend, after one of the many going away parties for my 18-year old daughter who is set to go off to ‘Bama, I took my lovely wife Karie on a date. Long overdue, but family and work demands seem to complicate this avenue. 26 years ago she stumbled into the Bradley University Jimmy John’s not knowing her future would never be the same… But, a lifetime later, here we are…, on a Saturday night in Ottawa, Illinois…
In a church…
Watching a cover band…
By candlelight…
Far cry from our younger days of slow pitch softball, tent camping after a long day on the river, or a euchre tournament.
We went to see Lumos, a three-piece string orchestra, (See Lumos Here) who covered one of our favorite bands, Coldplay.
While there are many songs from Coldplay’s discography that speak to me, Green Eyes, has been one my wife and I’s songs forever; but the lyrics to Fix You meet me where my feet are right now.
Coldplay’s Fix You has always struck me as an anthem for anyone struggling, disguised as a love song.
Chris Martin wrote it after watching someone he loved experience unimaginable grief. His wife’s father had just died and he wanted to ease her pain. At the same time, their previous album was criticized for being “too soft,” and “past their prime.”
He wanted to make everything okay… for his wife, for his bandmates, for himself… but he couldn’t.
If you’ve spent any time in leadership, you’ve learned painful truths:
You can’t fix everyone’s problems. You can’t erase a student’s trauma. You can’t save every struggling employee. You can’t make every parent happy. You can’t solve every family issue that walks through your front door. You can’t carry everyone’s burden.
But…
You can become the light that helps people find their way.
Fix You opens with an uncomfortable reality.
Sometimes you give everything you’ve got…and it still doesn’t work.
In a school building…
Every principal knows that feeling.
Every superintendent has lived it.
Every teacher has experienced it.
… You prepare.
… You plan.
… You communicate.
…. You give your very best…
…and sometimes the outcome still isn’t what you hoped for.
Leadership isn’t measured by outcomes, it’s measured by whether you keep showing up after disappointment.
As we move into August, schools enter one of the most important seasons of the year.
Back to School Schedules… for students, for staff, for parents, for the community, for athletics, for support staffing, for yourself… I mean, I have to wear pants soon (the summer of shorts is fleeting…)
Professional development. Building Culture. Hiring those unfilled spots at the last minute. Convocation speakers, your welcome back speech. First impressions. Relationships.
The first thirty days don’t determine everything…
…but they influence almost everything.
This isn’t simply preparation. It’s culture construction.
The seeds you plant in August become the harvest you’ll experience in November.
The second half of the calendar year works the same way personally.
Maybe you’ve lost twenty pounds. Maybe you’ve gained five.
Maybe you’ve been crushing workouts while your nutrition keeps pulling you backward. Maybe you’ve started and stopped more Monday mornings than you care to admit.
Momentum doesn’t require perfection. It requires another step.
Another workout. Another prepared meal. Another difficult conversation.
Another sunrise where you choose discipline over excuses.
As the song reminds us, if you never try, you’ll never discover what you’re capable of.
Coldplay spent years hearing people say they were finished. I’ve always liked the band but many people mock them or chastise them for a litany of reasons…
Too emotional. Too predictable. Too soft. Yet they kept writing. Kept touring. Kept improving. Went viral for a CEO/HR Manager uncomfortable jumbotron moment. But they kept showing up.
Criticism has an expiration date. Consistency doesn’t.
One of my favorite moments in the song Fix You comes near the end. About halfway through the song the guitar crescendo builds up to an epic conclusion of the song.
“Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face, and I…Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face, and I…Lights will guide you home…
And ignite your bones…
And, I will try to Fix You…”
The demands of leading and focusing on outcomes only can cripples us. Not because someone promises to fix everything. But because there’s a promise to learn from mistakes. That’s leadership.
You’re going to miss something this year. You’ll make a decision you’d like back. You’ll say something imperfectly. You’ll trust the wrong person. You’ll underestimate someone. You’ll overreact one day because you’re simply exhausted.
Own it.
Learn from it.
Move forward.
That’s what resilient leaders do.
As for our personal lives…
As men, the second half of the year is often where our commitments get tested.
The vacation is over. The routine returns. The excuses become easier. The calendar gets fuller. Don’t allow busyness to become permission for mediocrity.
Lead your family.
Lead your fitness.
Lead your faith.
Most importantly, outside the 3 F’s, Lead yourself.
Because the people following you deserve someone who is becoming healthier, not just busier.
This week, I’m not trying to fix everything.
Fix your morning routine. As you read this I am currently lifting weights.
After my session, I’m dialing in my planned nutrition for the day with yesterday’s meal prep.
I’m leaving for North Carolina late tonight and freed up my calendar for this conference to better be where my feet are, engaged with the personnel and cultivating meaningful relationships, not distracted by work emails and work problems.
Fix the difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding, I know the one I need to have for my family.
Fix your attention on what actually matters. You may never remove someone else’s pain. But you can become the steady light that reminds them there is still hope ahead.
And sometimes… that’s exactly the leader people need.
Like Lumos and their candlelit performance, this week, be the person who lights the hallway instead of adding to the darkness.
Build momentum. Prepare with purpose. Learn from your mistakes. Lead yourself before you lead others. Because the best school year you’ll ever have…
…is built one ordinary Monday at a time. Stay in the Game.
Dan, thanks for the exceptional insight. More people need to follow those three Fs. The people that you lead want you to show them guidance even when you're crestfallen by something that happens to them. They want you to help them. and that's what leaders do in any facet of life. Thanks for the article, my friend.