Stressed Leaders Retreat... 2024
Learn about the educational leadership retreat concept that is coming to the Starved Rock area of Illinois in June of 2024, the "Anti-conference Conference"
“There’s not enough time in the day to lead the district in the manner that I want to lead our students and staff. I AM DROWNING!”
A colleague of mine said this to me last May, at the end of another school year, and it caused me great heartache. This is a great man, someone I would follow, a great leader, and even better person. To hear him admit to me that he was drowning and contemplating leaving the profession was beyond troubling. I felt something pulling at me to help him, but I didn’t have the words in the moment that he blindsided me, to help him out. I tried to support him, told him all of the great things he was doing in his district that I had seen on twitter, mentioned the success of their baseball team that spring, and he nodded his head along, but the look in his eyes told a completely different story. I felt the gut punch when he responded with, “So…” He was beaten, he was defeated, and he needed a shock to his system to get him back in the game, but I didn’t have an answer for my friend at that time. I checked in on him regularly and wasn’t surprised to hear him tell me, in that summer, that he was leaving the profession and accepting a job in the business sector. A man with over twenty years of experience in education, was simply pulling the plug because he was burnt out. The onslaught of parental demands, the cancerous staff members, the apathetic students had all beaten him. I implored him to reconsider, that these were the minorities in all of this, but his mind was made up, he was done. He simply told me, “I’m tired… I’m tired of losing each day.”
The journey of an educator’s life is one of ups and downs, some losses and some great wins. We’ve all had moments of struggle and strife, but we’ve also all had moments of awe, and built relationships that have been pivotal in our lives. Looking back on this conversation still fires me up months later. When that phone call happened, that day in June, I realized that I had a calling, there was a greater purpose for my educational journey. I needed to become a coach for educational leaders and help my fellow leaders through the trials and tribulations; to build a tribe of like-minded leaders through a community of Stressed Leaders, who rise above those forces trying to pull us down.
For the past few months I have been working hard to develop a “one of a kind” leadership retreat, based on preventing burn out, getting Stressed Leaders back in the game. The concept is foreign in the educational community, there simply are not events like this. Typically as educational leaders, we attend leadership conferences where we sit in a grand hotel ballroom, listen to some inspirational author present their message in front of a couple hundred educators, we applaud, and then we head to the lobby bar. Maybe we attend break out sessions, where we sit around, we listen to some expert, we applaud, and we head to the lobby bar. See the problem?
We spend thousands of dollars to attend these seminars, where maybe you grab a nugget or two of good items to bring back to your school, implement for a short while, and then rinse and repeat each year. This conference system is broken. The way we try to lead our staff and students has changed in recent years and the demands and accountability on our leadership shoulders have increased. The demands are growing and the results have diminished. We need something DIFFERENT, something that means more than spending a thousand dollars to hear an author tell you why their book is great and why you should bring them back to your school. We need action, we need purpose, and we don’t earn action and purpose with “sit and get” seminars, then drinks with our buddies at the lobby bar. Don’t mistake the point here, sharing drinks and laughs with our network is important, but is that why we attend these conferences and does it solve the problem of our stress levels?
Today, we have more people ripping and berating our schools on Facebook, from fire the basketball coach to show up at the board meeting with pitchforks, we are under attack. The educational system is under fire from all corners of the media; people are telling our story without an ounce of concern for the people trying to tell the real story. The Stressed Leader who fights daily to tell the real story, who shows up day in and day out, in the trenches with the teachers, trying to lead the district, trying to remember his “Why.” Why do I do this? Those three groups my friend referenced in his phone call, constantly challenge our “why”:
The psychotic parents who have their sights set on the bullseye on your back
The cancerous staff member who whispers in corners critiquing your leadership
The student who simply doesn’t care and doesn’t want to be at school
Those three groups occupy much of our time and live in our head, rent-free. Not only do they live there rent-free, but they’ve welcomed in the squatters who want to pile on these three groups. It’s easy to see how leaders can struggle when these are the focus of your mind.
So why a retreat and how is that going to get educational leaders back into the game?
Vision Statement:
Stressed Leaders exist to help passionate people avoid burnout & stay in the game.
Strategy:
We accomplish this by providing unique, rejuvenating experiences that connect leaders to a tribe of other like-minded leaders for long term coaching and support.
In June of 2024, we will be hosting the first “Anti-Conference Conference” of its type, THE STRESSED LEADERS RETREAT. It is not going to be some sit and get event. It’s going to be epic and it’s going to be transformational!
First, Stressed Leaders need to SHOCK THE SYSTEM! How does one do that? You have to go through it, to experience it, and that moment is different for everyone. For me, it was a realization that I had wasted 20 years of my adulthood being out of shape, out of focus, and relying on excuses to be my crutch. As I plunged deep into my first ice bath in the mountains of Colorado, I felt awakened. Retreat attendees will hear my story, my message, of how I went from an excuse making “I’ll start tomorrow” to a “Seize-the-day Savage.” Attendees will also get the opportunity to immerse themselves in breathing exercises and ice baths to open their minds and bodies to a new experience. When I achieved this moment, it changed everything for me and has had me grinding, not only in my personal and professional life, but also in planning this retreat to give back to my colleagues who need our support.
Next, Stressed Leaders need to GO FIRST. How does a leader go first? As an avid reader of leadership books, my mind jumps to Navy Seals, to David Goggins, to inspirational messages. How does one go first? For me it was stop making excuses and DO THE WORK! Don’t feel like working out today…, do it anyway. Don’t take a zero on the scoreboard…, show up, and then refuse to lose when you are in the gym. Not only is it conquering physical limitations, but it’s a mentality as well. My coach, Mike Donatelli, will be leading our retreat attendees in an evaluation of their purpose.
Their purpose? Yes, you are meant for more than this, more than the excuses you have accepted. How are you making your mark, how are you leading your school, your family, how are you making your mark each day? We have to remove doubt, we need to develop that MAMBA mentality, that Kobe, MJ vs. the world mentality. Mike is the leader of the “Savage Community,” The Best Day Ever guy and his vibe will inspire you to put yourself first. Stressed Leaders are not fulfilling our potential, as a man, as a husband, as a father, as an educator, or as a leader. A stressed leader puts dates on the calendar, and then crosses the line triumphantly! Mike will take the group through a physical challenge, as a fitness coach and savage enthusiast, through the Starved Rock hiking areas.
Our third keynote speaker will be lifelong teacher and cancer survivor Mrs. Sara Ellis Olson. Sara has been in the educational world for over twenty-five years, as a classroom teacher, curriculum content creator, and facilitator. She has also has been in leadership roles for many committees, from a President and Vice President position on a number of committees and boards, to supporting many leadership endeavors. Sara’s message is one of inspiration, but also of heartache, from getting divorced with children, to managing her life with cancer, Sara’s message is that Stressed Leaders NEED TO GO LAST!
Sara’s message is also one of gratitude. She has navigated many hurdles in her life and she has dealt with adversity head on. Adversity happens when one is a leader, it happens, but your negative mindset around handling it, that is what gets you. Open your arms to growing pains by extending gratitude in good times, the peaks, the valleys, AND the BAD times. We need to find and harness moments of gratitude during the adversity, during the growing pains.
I first heard this at the Do Hard Things Conference from Jay Azeltine. Jay had trained his whole life for powerlifting and endurance athletics. A freak leg injury threw him the greatest adversity curveball in the height of his athletic pursuits. He responded with a daily grind of training to rehabilitate that leg injury to make him even stronger and better than before. Everyone experiences adversity, few choose gratitude or the deep work to come back from it. As educational leaders, our adversity isn’t in the form of physical challenges necessarily, but mental roadblocks. The board member who is coming after your position, the parent who wants you fired, the staff member who has had an axe to grind against you for years, the student who wants to protest your decision-making. We all experience it at one time or another, but we must find gratitude during these growing pains and we must, as Stressed Leaders, GO LAST.
Sara’s keynote will touch on all of these topics, as we experience her emotions and raw vulnerability on a sunset cruise of the Illinois River. Wine and water with Sara will be an experience that all Stressed Leaders will enjoy aboard the St. Geneveve, navigating the riverway through Buffalo and Starved Rock canyons. Retreat attendees will hear Sara’s message, aboard the St. Geneveve, with a sunset cruise of the Illinois River, sipping wine, on the water, with small bites and appetizers, with light music in the background.
Sara’s message will resonate with all Stressed Leaders, to be an open book, to be vulnerable through a life of service, a life of gratitude, going last.
One our second day of the retreat, attendees will have enjoyed their first day’s three keynotes and be met, back at the house, with coffee and snacks to start the day. An optional sunrise endurance run led by Mike and our fourth keynote speaker, an accomplished Superintendent and Ruck Master, Dan Cox, will start the day with a spark. Dan Cox will present the fourth keynote that morning, highlighting that Stressed Leaders Need to Do Hard Things. When I realized in my life that I wasn’t challenging myself enough, and the lack of competition had escaped me, that was a powerful moment of reflection and pause. I used to compete daily in athletics, then in academics, then in coaching, and while I wanted to win as an administrator, I needed an outlet to funnel that competitive edge again. Dan will present to our attendees how He Does Hard Things, not only athletically, but also as a runner, a rucker, and an endurance athlete. Dan is also a father, a Superintendent, and a Stressed Leader. Dan will lead the group and inspire attendees to Do Hard Things.
After building up a tremendous appetite through Dan’s keynote and event, our fifth and final keynote will be lead by me and the focus of the final keynote is that Stressed Leaders Need to HUDDLE UP.
Being a part of a community is essential for those who feel like they are drowning to have someone to lean on, someone to hold them accountable and push them to new heights. When I joined Mike’s Savage Community I found purpose, I found accountability, and I found an outlet to share knowledge with like-minded men. The Stressed Leaders community will do just that for our leaders everywhere. From fitness and workout advice, to a social media platform to share wisdom and concerns, this community will offer our leaders a great opportunity to support each other. The Stressed Leaders community is more than an app, more than a social media messaging platform, it is one of personal and professional accountabilty and respect, a place for all of us to lean on each other and lean into the lifestyle, the movement, that is STRESSED LEADERS.
The Stressed Leaders retreat will be the first of its kind, a game changer for the educational leadership community. Spots are limited, check our website at: www.stressedleaders.com for more details and to get signed up. Have questions? You can also reach out to Dan at: stressedleaders@gmail.com for more information. We will see you at Starved Rock on June 24-25, 2024!